Top 10 Responses to Nosy Questions about Cancer Scars

10. Never go to Mother’s Tattoo Parlor when you’re high.

9. You think that’s bad, you should see the exit wound.

8. I self-mutilate. Don’t you?

7. Those damn flesh-eating bacteria are spreading, slowly but surely.

6. That’s where the government put the chip to track my movements.

5. It’s the only way to smuggle drugs these days.

4. What scar? What are you talking about? Oh my God! That’s HUGE!

3. I had to sell organs to get off the street.

2. I should have listened when Mom said not to scratch that mosquito bite.

1. That’s where my Siamese twin was attached.

— courtesy of Planet Cancer (except the photo, which is me)

UPDATE!

Things have been going well - or as well as can be. Here is the major update:

HYPERBARICS: Last Friday, at 3:49pm, I finished my last hyperbaric treatment, at least until after I have my teeth pulled. It went quickly and was quiet - only four people inside. I had a new book to read, which is actually more important that you might realize. After thirty-eight hours of just sitting there and twiddling my thumbs, I can say that I’ve read six different books and read endless numbers of magazines. I feel accomplished in my summer reading.

TEETH: I have an appointment on August 25th to have my teeth removed. ALL of them, yes. It’s a conscious sedation, which means that they make you extremely tired and very loopy, but you’re not asleep. My dentist (Dr. Chun), has put in with Harborview to see about getting into the OR there because she has concerns about the way I don’t handle anesthesia very well. It wears off extremely fast and she doesn’t want that to happen since, under a conscious sedation, you can still feel pain. A lot. It happened before when I had six teeth pulled before my radiation.  That consult should happen next week, but it shouldn’t affect my appointment on the 25th, at least not yet.

FUNDRAISING: As of this moment, we’re at $5500 and that’s amazing. SO amazing. Thank you so much for all of your donations - I can’t  tell you what that means to me, I really can’t. I appreciate every single dollar.

RANDOMLY: I found a photo from after my second surgery, one I don’t remember having been taken, really. It’s not pretty, but it illustrates how they went after my parotid gland - the largest of the salivary glands. It housed a tumor and it sits just in front of your ear, kind of in your cheek. The scar goes up behind my ear and then even in front. The scar down the side of my neck was a “redo” from the original surgery I had done to remove my lymph nodes on that side of my neck. The zigzag pattern supposedly makes for a cleaner scar.


STITCHES