Top 10 Responses to Nosy Questions about Cancer Scars

10. Never go to Mother’s Tattoo Parlor when you’re high.

9. You think that’s bad, you should see the exit wound.

8. I self-mutilate. Don’t you?

7. Those damn flesh-eating bacteria are spreading, slowly but surely.

6. That’s where the government put the chip to track my movements.

5. It’s the only way to smuggle drugs these days.

4. What scar? What are you talking about? Oh my God! That’s HUGE!

3. I had to sell organs to get off the street.

2. I should have listened when Mom said not to scratch that mosquito bite.

1. That’s where my Siamese twin was attached.

— courtesy of Planet Cancer (except the photo, which is me)